Circus Act

If I was a circus act, my name would be the Amazing Expanding Woman. The Ring Leader would say "Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, feast your eyes on the Amazing Expanding Woman. She gets bigger right before your eyes." I'm not trying to pull the sympathy card here, but it really happened yesterday. It was a beautiful Sunday in SF and Jason had to do some work, so I went out for an afternoon walk down to Chrissy Field. On the way to the beach, I called my friend Jessica (a mom). She asked if I had popped yet, to which my answer was, "A long time ago." She mentioned that I'll likely pop again. Say what? All the books say I pop once. Is there really any more room to pop again? My ankles and self esteem say no. I returned home only 2 hours later, and not even five seconds passed before Jason exclaims, "Holy shit. I think you popped." I ran to the mirror in the bedroom in an attempt to tell him that he either needed new glasses or to check out his wife more often. Damn. He was right. In a matter of 2 hours and a harbinger from Jessica, I popped. Again. I swear I left half the apartment half the size I returned.

Critter is a crazy kicker lately. He already has a routine down. He kicks me at 9am, yearning for a caffeine fix, then again between 9:30-10:30 thanking me for the coffee and cereal. Then again after lunch and after dinner, and then the grand finale at 11:30pm during Seinfeld reruns. He's a nut at this time, but it doesn't help that Jason's at my belly urging him on. Here are some stats:

• Approx 10 inches long
• 1 lb.
• Eyelashes and eyebrows have come in
• Sprouting hair (white because it doesn't have pigment yet)
• Forming teeth buds
• Pancreas starting to function
  

This week, my big focus is day care. Yes, it's 8+ months away, but apparently, there are waiting lists longer that than that, and I don't want to be SOL. Apparently child care in SF is like applying to colleges. There is a nonrefundable application fee, you're judged on the spot during interviews, it's super competitive, and according to my parent friends, you find yourself saying, "I hope you pick us because of ...." Giving them $350-$450 week isn't enough; you have to kiss their butt too. They should be kissing my butt. I'm the one who has to squeeze a watermelon out of me and then pay them. They've got it easy.